Below are the 12 most recent journal entries recorded in chunkygoatlick's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, February 14th, 2006
3:31 pm	best headline ever! Man shot by Cheney suffers heart attack Read the entire article here: http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2002805012_webcheney14.html Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 24th, 2006
7:35 pm	I'm back I'm going to attempt to resurrect this account. Here's an article I wrote the other day for an emerging online Hip Hop magazine: 6cent Magazine. Enjoy. Philosophers, theologians and thugs from all hoods have debated the nuanced differences between chickenheads, hood rats and project chicks for generations. Though many questions remain, we at 6cent Magazine have come up with comprehensive definitions for each upon which gangstas from the East, West, North and the Dirty Dirty can agree. Chickenheads are at the bottom of the ghetto bitch totem pole. They can be sexy, but they’re always nastier than they are sexy. They usually have fucked up hair and ashy knees. They’ll suck your dick within 15 seconds of meeting you. It’s their way of saying nice to meet you. A chickenhead is a hoe you dig out, wear out and then kick out. Project Pat’s 2000 hit single “Chicken Head” first exposed the mainstream to this term, but the name has been around much longer. Redman’s 1996 album, Muddy Waters, featured a short but compelling look at one of America’s first chickenhead conventions. Several chickenheads were asked what the term means. One said “Niggaz be callin’ me a motherfuckin’ chickenhead cause I be goin’ to the store wearin’ that same grapefruit t-shirt I had on before, and diggin’ up my ass (and) my nose.” The definition has evolved a bit since the first chickenhead convention, but the term is still a reference to a dirty, desperate hoe with a fucked-up weave. Hood Rats have more self respect than chickenheads. They’re proud bitches who won’t let you pull on their weave while you’re fucking them in the ass. They have a tendency to get into fights and have poor table manners. They’re also notorious gold diggers and trifling friends indeed. If you leave them unattended in your house, they will take something. Project Chicks are at the top of the ghetto bitch totem pole. They’re known for their ghetto booties that are like whoa. They’ll beat down any chickenhead or hood rat that tries to step to their man. Project chicks also suck a mean dick. As Lil’ Wayne Put it: project chicks are “the ones who wobble it an’ be puttin’ they mouth on it. An’ they suck everything out of it. Then they catch it and swallow it.” Project chicks know where they came from and don’t expect a nigga to buy their way. They makes they own paper. All project chicks aren’t from the projects. You’ll find project chicks in every borough. It’s about mentality and attitude not class or location. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, November 4th, 2005
2:38 pm	4 more days! My job in Michigan ends in 4 days. I cannot wait. I know the campaigns I’m working on are going to win, and I’m ready for the next place the gods see fit to send me. I’m really looking forward to seeing all my DC, Cali and Chi-Town bitches!!! P.S. I’ll continue my “belief of the day” series after the election. I’m too swamped at the moment. Pray that I don’t Malaria. PRAY GODDAMMIT!!! (Comment on this)
Friday, October 28th, 2005
10:56 pm	Today’s belief (AKA words of wisdom) There’s nothing wise or profound about today’s belief, but it’s something I feel very passionately about. “Anyone who takes credit for other people’s ideas, particularly mine, deserves to be executed via wedgie. That’s right, death by wedgie!!!” I just overheard my boss claim to create a piece of political literature I made for the second time in less than a week. He’s lucky I’m not willing to touch his underwear. It’s still not as bad as the time I had to listen to a friend of mine explain how he came up with the idea for an experimental film he made that I had conceptualized for him. In fact, we met for several hours one night because he couldn’t come up with anything on his own. The idea he ended up using was in no way the product of collaborative brainstorming. It was solely my idea. This sounds petty, and in some ways it is. Everything I write is public domain. Anyone can make one of my screenplays or print a short story or essay of mine, and I wouldn’t ask them for a cent. The only demand I make is that I’m credited. That’s it. What’s the point of being a creative visionary if no one knows it? (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 27th, 2005
11:05 pm	today's words of wisdom I hope everyone realizes that my words of wisdom posts are meant to be cheeky, but starting tomorrow I'm going to refer to them as "beliefs" rather than "words of wisdom" because that's what they are. Everyday I'm going to share something I believe with you. And there's no need to give my beliefs a grandiose title like "words of wisdom." Without further ado... "Art without meaning is masturbation." Don't get me wrong. I'm in no way bashing masturbation. I myself have created quite a few masturbatory pieces. But I find that artwork with a real message and a point is much more satisfying. It's like a good fuck. I love masturbation, but it will always rank beneath fucking on my list of favorite activities. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 26th, 2005
3:11 pm	YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS VIDEO. IT'S SOOOOOOOOOOO HILARIOUS It's entitled "God Warrior," and it's a chilling look at the Republican Party's base. Enjoy! http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2681739 Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
2:59 pm	today's words of wisdom I think todays words of wisdom are perfect for a fortune cookie. I also think theyd make a great 11th commandment. "A generous man always cums last." And Im very, very generous. I waited up to four days once, worst case of blue balls ever. Its in the Guinness Book of World Records. Look it up. (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 25th, 2005
2:52 pm	Today's orginal words of wisdom Life is random enough to fuck you for no reason, but malleable enough to reward you if you force it. Current Mood: brilliant! (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, October 24th, 2005
6:48 pm	survey fun! 1. Look around the room you're in. What would be the most effective weapon? The extension cord for my laptop 2. There's a stain on your clothing, what is it from? toothpaste (I was in a hurry this morning) 3. What's the most terrible song you've got on your computer? I don’t know its name, but I’m sure it accompanies porn. 4. What is your favorite thing that you won’t admit to anyone? If you really think about it, this question is unanswerable. 5. What's the last thing you broke on purpose? Several coasters at Outback Steakhouse last night (I was feeling destructive.) 6. Do you collect anything "unconventional"? Articles (I have thousands of archived articles from newspapers, Magazines, wire services, etc. A lot of them have to do with the environment and almost all of them relate to politics. If I ever decide to write a book or major paper, which I most likely will do at some point, I have a great research tool.) 7. Oh my God, what's that thing behind you? About 500 lawn signs 8. You looked, didn't you? Yep 9. What word always makes you laugh, regardless of context? Poppycock 10. Whose face makes you laugh? Michael Jackson and David Gest My favorite pic of Michael http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/en/doc/2003-11/26/content_284873.htm David Gest: I love the fact that this is the first page that comes up for him on Google http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/000263.html Here they are together http://www.washblade.com/blog/images/liza_minelli_wedding.jpg 11. Do you prefer the smell of paper or plastic? Cocaine 12. What is the most attractive letter? S or X... XXX is much more attractive than SS.Don’t you agree? 13. What is the most homosexual number (single digit)? 6 because it’s the devil’s number! 14. Make up a new word. Right now! Write a definition. Bushafide- dumb, incompetent, dishonest… It’s a synonym for any insult you can think of. 15. Choose 5 things that you think should be illegal: Teaching religion to children as fact, privatization of government services, the commercial production of inefficient vehicles, appliances or homes, and not recycling. 16. Which of your scars is your favorite? I have scars on my knuckles that remind of my childhood. 17. Is there a word or phrase floating through your head right now? Yes, the phrase is: “what a dumb question.” FUNNY or NOT A LAUGHING MATTER: 18. Old people falling down: It depends if there’s a banana peel involved. 19. Jesus jokes: God damn they’re funny! 20. Dead baby jokes: Not as good as dead baby Jesus jokes, but they can be quite funny. 21. Morbidly obese people who need their walls knocked down: Only if they’re dressed provocatively 22. Kids getting knocked down by big dogs: Not as funny as kids getting hit by cars 23. Trent Reznor's lyrics: I love Trent, but he wouldn’t have a shot on Last Comic Standing. 24. People getting voluntary cosmetic surgery that leaves them looking disfigured: It’s fantastic, especially when they do it repeatedly! www.awfulplasticsurgery.com 25. The guy who smoked angel dust, cut off pieces of his face and fed them to his dogs (true story): I think that’s sitcom material (2 Comments |Comment on this)
6:42 pm	Today's words of wisdom You may not know this, but I’m a very wise man. In fact, I’m one of the original wise men. I’m the one that brought Myrrh because it’s cheap and has a funny name, kind of like Tara Reid. But I digress. The reason I’ve brought all of you here today is to inform you of a benevolent act second to none. I’ve decided that I’m going to share one of my brilliant thoughts with you everyday. Sometimes it’ll be a colorful original phrase you can have placed on a t-shirt or bumper sticker and make billions! Sometimes it’ll be a phrase that may warrant a vigorous mouth cleansing if repeated. Often it’ll be both. But I guarantee that it will always be 100% brilliant… so without further ado, here are today’s words of wisdom: “Intelligent Design is the product of unintelligent people.” (You may want to go ahead and have this one tattooed somewhere prominent.) Hugs & Kisses -CSM P.S. Yes, I am loosing my mind ... thanks for asking. Current Mood: crazy (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, October 21st, 2005
1:24 pm	Spectacular Lampshade You had me at “Fuck off!” The spit shimmered on your lower lip And ricocheted off of my forehead, Awakening the bongos in my throat. I wanted to dance on the roped-off white sofa in the corner of the room. Submerge my face in your birthday cake. I’m going wrap this vision in newspaper And bury it like a time capsule. So that my grandchildren’s grandchildren Will someday feel as sexually frustrated as I do at this moment. It’s funny how a concept, An idea can feel solid, tangible. And actual people can be so abstract and pointless. Because when I adjust the focus And really look at you, All I see are scattered shapes. A dumbed-down Picasso. A spectacular lampshade covering absolutely nothing. I wish life were an etch a sketch So I could shake you into oblivion Like a colicky baby. And that people came with return addresses stamped on their foreheads So that after looking inside, I could tell them exactly where to go. Because up close, Up close you’re not worth spitting back at. (Comment on this)
Monday, October 17th, 2005
1:44 pm	This is what my schedule looks like for now. If you are in any of the following locations during the dates provided below, I expect to see you. ****Calendar of Locations**** Present-11/09 Royal Oak, Michigan 11/09-11/11 Washington DC 11/11-11/14 Baltimore, Maryland 11/14-11/23 San Francisco, California* 11/23-12/01 Chicago, Illinois After 12/01 ??? *During the time allotted for San Francisco I also intend on visiting Los Angeles, San Diego, Santa Monica and Crescent City. This schedule is subject to change. Void where prohibited. (11 Comments |Comment on this)